


Fragmentary Mind

by Omness



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Ghosts, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Gen, Ghosts, Other, Pre-time skip and Post-time skip, a bit angsty but has a happy/hopeful ending, idk what this even is but it's a thing, nonbinary byleth, queerplatonic relationship-ish, slight anxiety/panic attack type thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-02
Updated: 2019-12-02
Packaged: 2021-02-25 22:09:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21642718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Omness/pseuds/Omness
Summary: Byleth can see ghosts. Both the ones that haunt their self, and others. It's not a pleasant experience, but they manage to get by. Most of the time they don't concern themselves with the ghosts that follow others, but when they meet Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd they become worried by the strangeness of his ghosts. In order to solve this mystery they choose to become Professor of the Blue Lions House.
Relationships: Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd & My Unit | Byleth, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd/My Unit | Byleth
Comments: 2
Kudos: 67





	Fragmentary Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy this nonsense and understand that I wrote farther than I know about FE3H. Because apparently lack of knowledge doesn't stop me from writing fic >.>

Ghosts haunt Byleth.

They stand there, staring. Some with accusation in their eyes, others with sadness, many with regret, a few are even happy. Most of them mutter one line over and over, their last words before they died, or one last thought that they needed to express.

Most of the time Byleth can ignore them, the ghosts are mostly see through, their mumbled words barely able to be heard.

Other times Byleth is all too aware of their presence. Their blue forms almost solid, their words and feelings dragging Byleth down, reminding them of all the people they had killed, those they failed to save, those they let die. The consequences of Byleth’s choices made known clearly to them.

It’s on those days that Byleth retreats the furthest into their shell. They lose themselves in the sea of death and a past that they wished didn’t affect them but does. It leaves them unable to tell what exactly is real and what isn’t.

When Jeralt notices, and he always does, he takes time to sit close to Byleth and tells them stories of his life. It helps. It helps a lot. To feel a solid and warm body next to them, with a voice that drowns out all the others and only tells of what is real. Usually Byleth will end up leaning into their father’s shoulder, or go for an extended embrace if they are feeling more affectionate.

Thankfully those days are few and far between. Or else Byleth would have more reservations about becoming a professor at Garreg Mach on such short notice. They would hate to fail as a professor because they needed too much time to themself. Would hate it even more if their students found out about the ghosts that they can see.

Though the ghosts Byleth sees aren’t really ghosts, they’re more…. remnants. Lingering fragments of people's souls. When someone feels a strong emotion they’ll leave a bit of themself behind attached to other people or places. The people don’t have to have died; Byleth has been through several churches and seen various happy couples standing near the altar repeating their vows over and over again to each other. Unfortunately for Byleth, the only time they’ve ever invoked such overwhelming emotion is when they send someone to their end. And those are the ghosts that haunt them, leaving a trail of dark emotion in their wake.

Fortunately, ghosts tend to fade over time as their emotion wears out, or else Byleth thinks they’d be driven insane by the amount of ghosts that would flood their vision. It doesn’t mean they forget about the people they killed, just that it’s easier to bear.

It’s because of these ghosts that Byleth decides to become the professor for the Blue Lions House. They had chatted with the students as Lady Rhea had recommended and had been surprised at the number of them that had several ghosts following them. But none so much as Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd; House Leader of the Blue Lions and Prince to the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus. 

It’s a mystery to Byleth why Dimitri’s ghosts are more numerous and solid than those of the other students. So they had decided to lead Blue Lions to get to know it’s leader easier, and hopefully help him with what might be an unknown heavy burden.

As the months pass and Byleth learns more about Dimitri and the past of Faerghus, they only become more confused by the ghosts that haunt Dimitri. They can recognize some of them by virtue of their relationship and resemblance to some of the students. But that’s what causes bewilderment for Byleth. Some of the ghosts were from the Tragedy of Duscur four years ago, so most of them should be near wisps by now, but they were as solid as fragments that had been created mere weeks ago. There was no explanation for it.

At least, not one Byleth could discern until after the awful confrontation at Remire village. Byleth isn’t surprised when Dimitri pulls them aside when they return to Garreg Mach to talk. As they chat there’s an openness between them as they share how the unjust death of innocents affects them and the darkness that can come from killing, even if it’s to try and make things right. The way Dimitri explains how it is for him is awfully familiar to Byleth, but they don’t put it together until Dimitri murmurs under his breath,

“I came to Garreg Mach for revenge.”

Then he walks away, leaving Byleth looking after him, stunned, as it finally clicks in their head.

Dimitri can see the ghosts that haunt him. Likely hears their muttered pleas and feels their dying emotions just like Byleth does for those around them. But unlike Byleth they are people Dimitri had loved, leaving that much more of an impact on him. He probably thinks their actual souls are left behind and that these final emotions of dying men and women are what they truly want, and perhaps need, to move on. 

And so those final emotions of loved ones press down on Dimitri, pushing him further into the dark than he would go on his own. And in turn he feeds that darkness to the fragments, trying to appease that which cannot be appeased and holding them here for so much longer than they should.

And Byleth has no idea how to explain this to Dimitri.

Various times they tried, to no avail. Despite being a professor, Byleth has no idea on how to explain this concept without being brushed off as being metaphorical. And then there always seems to be one thing after another happening at the Monastery that needed to be dealt with and Byleth never finds the time to tell Dimitri how to let go of his ghosts.

And then Byleth dies.

Well, they don’t actually die, but when they’re woken up by a villager while facedown on a shore of a river, they hurt enough to feel like they did die. But finding out they’ve been asleep for a little over five years puts a shock through their system that washes the pain away. Before the villager gets much else out Byleth is hurrying away, back to Garreg Mach, they’d rather die again then miss the class reunion. They need to know how their students are doing, and wants to make certain they survived the battle at Garreg Mach five years ago.

Byleth climbs the steps of Garreg Mach, littered with bodies of Imperial soldiers killed brutally and in various states of decay. They are unsurprised to find Dimitri at the top, slumped against a wall. Around him is a constant haze from the sheer number of ghosts surrounding him. While nearest to him are the ghosts of his loved ones, so much more solid than they were five years ago, their visages warped and uncanny. No longer quite human.

Byleth walks closer to Dimitri, their boots thudding quietly against the cobblestone. They stop a few feet away from him, staying within the light of the moon while Dimitri remains within shadow.

“Dimitri?” Byleth calls.

Dimitri looks up, his face haggard. Like he’s barely slept in years, and an eyepatch now covering his right eye.

“So you’ve come to haunt me too, have you? I should’ve known you’d come.” Dimitri says, his voice so dark and accusing.

“I’m not haunting you Dimitri. I’m real. Just feel.” Byleth says gently, stepping closer and offering a hand to help him up.

Dimitri stares at Byleth’s hand like it’s a viper about to strike. He ends up swatting it away, and standing up on his own. “If you’re real then leave me be. I’m nothing but a walking corpse anyway.”

Something in Byleth breaks to hear that, and they try their best to bring Dimitri out of the dark spiral he fell into. But they can’t do much, even when the rest of Blue Lion house and other allies arrive for both the reunion and to fight against the Imperial Empress from conquering Fodlan. Dimitri seems trapped in his own world, ignorant of the friends worried about him.

It’s not until Byleth sees Dimitri talking to his ghosts that Byleth realizes how bad things have truly gotten. Before Byleth can say anything that might actually help Dimitri, Gilbert shows up and warns them of an imminent attack from the Imperial army. Rather than talk to Dimitri, Byleth has no choice but to take up arms and prepare for battle.

And in the middle of that battle is Dimitri, reckless and wild. When they finally face against the other side’s Commander Byleth has to forcefully stop Dimitri from killing him before they can capture him and garner information. Using the whip form of the Sword of the Creator, Byleth wraps the sword around Dimitri’s spear and yanks it from his hands.

The rage on Dimitri’s face as he focuses on Byleth is a sight to behold, and Byleth almost swears their heart lets out a beat of fear. But they stand their ground as Dimitri stalks toward them.

“Why?” Dimitri demands harshly, “Why did you stop me?”

Byleth subtly indicates for Gilbert to take the Imperial commander away and to leave the two of them alone before speaking. “If you want to kill him, you’ll have to go through me Dimitri. You can’t just kill all who stand in your way. You’re no better than Edelgard then.”

Dimtri’s eye flashes dangerously. “What would you know? You can’t hear them. They demand blood to obtain peace.”

Byleth feels their face harden. “I do hear them Dimitri, and they lie to you. The dead are gone and those are just remnants, not even shells of the person they came from. Look at them Dimitri. Do they even look like themselves to you?”

Dimitri’s eye widens in shock and his voice quivers as he says, “You can see them?”

“I can.” Byleth says seriously, then lets their face soften as they step in close to Dimitri and look up at him. “And I want you to look at them, seriously look at them. Are they really the people you remember?”

Dimitri still seems shaken as he glances at the ghosts around him, just a few feet away, their faces are warped into expressions impossible for humans to make. Their limbs are just a little too long and gangly, their fingertips ending in claws.

“No, they’re not.” Dimitri answers in a small voice, with a tinge of fear.

“That’s right.” Byleth says softly, and reaches up to cup Dimitri’s face in their hands and bring his focus to them and continues to speak softly. “You need to let go of them okay? You’re feeding them with your emotions.”

“But how?” Dimitri asks brokenly, and it makes Byleth’s heart hurt. “I don’t deserve to be free from them.

Byleth bites back on a lecture on why Dimitri doesn’t deserve that guilt weighing him down and says instead, “Just focus on me alright? Your complete focus. Do you feel the warmth of my hands? There’s callouses there from sword-fighting, and a scab or two from learning the bow. Ashe has been teaching me this last month. Listen to the sound of my voice. Remember how professors always had to participate in the choir? I didn’t tell anyone, but I hated it, it was so embarrassing, even afterwards when people would compliment me on my singing-”

On and on Byleth speaks, talking about everything and nothing, but always making sure it was something real. Eventually they lose track of time, their voice going hoarse and making it painful to talk, but Dimitri’s gaze stays on them, so they keep talking. And Byleth stays focused on Dimitri, barely even noticing as he brings his own hands up to gently hold their wrists.

Finally, Byleth succumbs to the scratchiness of their throat and goes into a coughing fit, unable to say another word, curling up into themselves with the force of it.

Dimitri forces a bottle into their hand, a vulnerary, and Byleth takes it. Drinking it swiftly and letting the healing tincture soothe their throat. Byleth lowers the vulnerary with a gasp and Dimitri smiles at them. A soft tentative thing, like he no longer knew how to make the expression.

“Thank you, professor.”

The smile fills Byleth with relief, and a sense of warmth radiates through their chest. The ghosts are gone. Byleth can’t help a small smile of their own. “Of course. We’re in this together remember?”

“How could I forget?”

Of course, there’s never an ‘immediately get better’ switch. And Dimitri still falls into dark moods that he sometimes needs help being pulled from. But the falls slowly became fewer and lighter.

Though that isn’t the problem Byleth currently faces. No, the problem Byleth faces is one they almost forgot. 

It’s their own ghosts.

They press in close, too close for comfort. Byleth almost feels them breathing on their skin, whispering to them.

_ never see my wife and child again _

_ i just wanted the chance for glory _

_ i wish i told him i loved him _

_ this is your fault _

_ YOUR fault _

_ i would’ve lived if it weren’t for you _

_ i’m scared _

They’re pressing Byleth down, the weight of their unspent emotions restricting Byleth’s chest, making it harder to breath. Byleth had killed them, every single one of them. They all had a life, hopes, dreams, a future. And with a single slash of their sword they had cut that all from them. Byleth can barely see the walls of the room they’re in, there are so many ghosts and so many that seem so solid. They can’t remember where they are. Are they sitting on a bed? Are they in their room? They hope so, they don’t want anyone to see them like this.

“Professor!”

Suddenly there are hands against the sides of Byleth’s face. It takes Byleth a few moments to focus, but there’s Dimitri’s concerned face inches from theirs as he kneels in front of them.

“Are you alright professor?”

Byleth opens their mouth to respond, but any words get stuck in their throat as the ghosts’ dissonant murmurs try to make their way out from Byleth’s lips. It takes several tries before Byleth barely manages, “There’s so many.” In a voice that’s quiet, too quiet. Can Dimitri even hear them over the swirling emotions and whispers in the room?

But he does, and seems to understand immediately what Byleth is talking about.

“It’s alright professor, I’m here.” Dimitri says comfortingly. “So focus on me and I’ll keep talking. Just like you do for me. Like the other day I heard Felix singing a song about yums and yams. Can you believe it? Felix singing about yums and yams? When I asked him about it, he looked all embarrassed and said the song gets stuck in his head off and on ever since he heard Annette sing it during our Academy days. Our Academy days!”

Byleth finds the talk grounding, but it isn’t enough, they can practically feel the coldness of the ghosts pressing in, trying to take their life for their own. Without thinking, Byleth lunges forward into Dimitri’s lap and wraps him in a hug, burying their face in his neck. They squeeze tightly just to feel someone  _ warm _ and  _ solid _ to remind themselves of how intangible the ghosts really are.

Dimitri stiffens at the contact, his voice going abruptly silent.

The whispers of the ghosts get louder.

“Keep talking.” Byleth pleads hoarsely. “Please.”

There’s a few moments of hesitation, then Dimitri gently wraps Byleth in a hug, slightly resting his chin on their shoulder as he picks up where he left off in his story.

And Byleth listens. Listens to the words Dimitri tells them that allow them to paint pictures of the living in their head instead of the dead. Feels the warmth of Dimitri that burns hot even in the coldest night to remember that the coldness of death has no grip on them.

And when Byleth can no longer hear the ghosts, or feel their cold presence, Byleth loosens their hold and leans back. They meet Dimitri’s gaze, and while there is worry in his expression, it mostly contains peace. And Byleth is surprised to find that peace echoing through them as well. There is only comfort here, now.

They stare at each other in silence for a bit, until Dimitri clears his throat, “Better?”

Byleth smiles, and presses their forehead against Dimitri’s, “Better.”


End file.
